Shortly after we were married I thought I was ready to start a family.
I thought I would have a few kids. Maybe three or four. I thought getting pregnant would be so easy. I would be a glowing pregnant woman with a small round belly and go into labor and delivery with beautifully painted toenails and primped hair.
I would raise them to be well mannered children who could fall asleep on their own and at a decent hour. And slept in their own beds. Kids who obeyed and who behaved in public. They would never leave the house with dirty faces or clothes.
In reality, I would inject my belly and rear end with hormones to do IVF and get pregnant with twins. Some might say I was glowing, well maybe sometimes. Instead of a small round belly, a large one was in store for me. This whole IVF thing taught me patience. And brought me closer to Jim and my Heavenly Father.
Lucky for me, we got to pick the day of their delivery and I carried them full term. When it was time, my toe nails were painted, I was tired and that wonderful epidural wore off when it was really time to push. I had my best friend and mother next to me, coaching me the whole time. While my mother in law waited patiently to meet her new grand babies. The moment I brought them into the world, I was already nursing them. I held them on my chest all night that first night. Somehow, I had already forgotten about feeling like I’d been hit by a truck and the soreness of my body. I had two little miracles with tiny hands and feet. I instantly fell in love.
Two years later, I would do it all over again.
Who knew you had to train your kids to sleep. I sure didn’t. I battle every night on getting these two to sleep. On their own and in their own beds. We are coming up with a plan, and thanks to a wonderful, patient husband it’s paying off.
My kids whine, throw tantrums and cry. We leave the house with dirty faces and clothes and don’t always look like Baby Gap models. And I’d still do it again.
My kids want to “hold you, Mommy,” what feels like all day long, giving me constant backaches. They hold my hair to fall asleep, like it’s their drug. Heaven for bid I use the bathroom or shower without my little chickadees right there with me. They love sleeping on my pillow, kindly giving me a corner to sleep on. They know what clothes they want to wear, food they want to eat and they must have juice at all times. And I’d still do it again.
Playing the piano and singing songs is a new favorite activity. They know how to pray and bless everyone and everything. They say the cutest things and smile at what seems to be the right moments. Putting life back into perspective.
And through all the sleepless nights, whining, laughing, cries and smiles I am so happy to be their Mommy.
With recently going back to work, I have come to realize that my calling in life is to be a Mom. To be there to teach my kids. To love them and to hold them. While being taught by them. I’m thankful for a husband who supports me in that.
I’m grateful for women in my life who have shaped me into the mother I am today. Thank you Mom for being an example of strength and wisdom. You were there the minute I became a mother, a moment I will never forget. I love you.
I’m lucky to have a mother in law who taught her son how to treat women and how to honor his priesthood. Thank you for loving me as your own daughter and for being a wonderful grandmother to my children.
I look forward to what motherhood still has to teach me. And I bet there’s still a lot.
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