Mate Marketing

In todays world of increasing choices, fragmentation and specialization, many companies and products find it difficult to latch on to an audience and be successful. Many quality products fail because they can’t convince investors that they will get enough attention to bring in the big dollars.

I relate this to “getting a girl” (also known as courtship or dating). I was recently involved in this process and have made it out the other side to tell my wise tale. I searched for a mate in a situation that is probably not unlike many other courtship situations, and is definitely not unlike corporate America and the atmosphere for marketing products and services. In this environment, “quality mates” are scarce. And suitors are in great supply. Many may refer to this as a meat market, sausage party, what have you. In this ambiance of intense competition, it is very easy to become disheartened and slink away into obscurity. Following are a few lessons I feel I have taken away from the courting experience that can be applied to other facets of life. This is a dynamic list, and I’m willing to accept additions:

1. You’re not going to find Sleeping Beauty/Prince Charming and fall magically in love with the hottest, most talented, intelligent and caring person in the world. It’s just not gonna happen for most of us—If you did, congratu-frickin-lations! Write your own blog!—While there is a short supply of quality mates, there is an even greater scarcity of extra-high-quality ones. Companies build products and services and spend hours upon days of energy on research, testing, what have you, to reach the ideal customer that buys $50,000 dollars worth of tiddly-winks. The average, but more loyal, customers are willing to work with what you have and stick with you for the long haul.

So, what’s the fix? Don’t pass quality audiences by, who are interested in your “product” and would be willing to try it out, because you’re searching for the best, hottest, most fantastic audience in the world. You may just find that the audience (or girl) that is willing to give you a shot has exceptionally loyal characteristics that could far outweigh some of the superficial traits that are initially most attractive. (I happen to be one of the few who snagged a high-quality, loyal customer/wife. I love you babay)

2. Don’t try to copy or do the same thing as the hundred other dudes that are out hunting. Your strength can be your difference from the pack. If everyone is big and beefy and has super-white teeth, maybe you will stand out for your other qualities. As humans we are initially attracted by something that promises immediate satisfaction. It’s hard for us to see the benefits of a long-term investment. Those beefy, white-toothed, well dressed frat boys probably get in the door more often, but do they ever end up staying? And, you must think about, are you really interested in the girl that is “fooled” by the promises of immediate satisfaction. Isn’t it much more valuable to find an audience with someone who sees your long-term product benefits.

So what’s the fix? Work on your deeper qualities that really make you a worthwhile companion in the long run. Your gentlemanly courtesy, your sense of humor, your manners, your depth of thought. Show the market that you’ve actually spent some time making your product a valuable, useful, contributing member of the society for greater good. Those guys with flashier, more initially attractive products can sometimes use intimidation and elitist attitudes to intimidate and belittle you. Don’t let that happen, whatever you do! Find and exude an attitude of self worth and importance (not cockiness). People will honestly and sincerely value the qualities of your product when they truly shine through.

3. Don’t give up when you’re initially rejected. It can be a difficult journey. You have to go into it convinced of that idea. You must accept rejection and move on. You might learn from it and change your approach a bit. But if you’ve truly spent time honing your “craft” you should avoid making huge shifts.
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So what’s the fix? Find better ways to reach your audience. Sometimes working harder helps. Going after a bigger audience usually yields more results. Most of the time, the answer is to work smarter. The right audience for you is out there. Again, that’s not necessarily the girl of your fantasies, but it is the one that fits what you have comfortably and successfully. You may not be able to connect with that audience in “traditional” courtship forums. You may have to do something specific to demonstrate your product that people who value your qualities will recognize.

4. Recognize your competition, but don’t fight with it. (Doug listen up) Nothing is more pitiful than a confrontational suitor trying to punch his way back into good graces. It might work temporarily, but having to fight all the time eventually takes its toll. When the fight or flight impulse kicks in, you have to find away to do neither. Fighting never brings out the good qualities in you, and sometimes doesn’t manage to highlight the negatives in the opponent. 

So what’s the fix? When you recognize that there is competition, but you don’t give it the pleasure of attention, you are taking the higher ground, and showing your confidence and focus. “OK, so there might be fancier products out there, that look better, or have fingernails that aren’t dirty. I know who they are, and I’ve talked to people who know them. But, I’m not concerned. I am here to show you what I’ve got, cuz I think it’s great! You are the only one that can say which you like better. If you want me to fight for you, then I want you to fight for me too. So let’s just give it a try.” You see how that works? You’re ready to buy a house with me…Bottom line, you gotta keep the focus on your product, and away from the competition.

5. Don’t try to score on the first date! Heck, wait a month to even attempt a swing! Okay, a few practice swings probably wouldn’t hurt. Of course you’ve got to show interest, and usually that means some vague reference to intimacy. Businesses should understand in the same vein, that getting all they can initially out of a customer is much less profitable than building a loyal user/companion for a good while if not for a lifetime. It’s really about your goals…Do you want the quick hitting success and pleasure that results in eventual heartache and trouble? Or would you rather have a slow crescendo towards a now unforeseen happy ending? Isn’t the joy in the journey anyways?

So what’s the fix? Stuff the libido in the back pocket for a second. Austin Powers still won the girl without his Mojo. We all know that greed and desire make our heads a little cloudy. You’ve gone this long without success, and you can wait a little longer. You’ve been paying the bills, just keep being creative. We have the tendency to be like animals (dogs especially—I know, I have one). If the food is available we keep eating and eating until something bad happens! Avoid your animal instincts, be disciplined, and you’ll be healthier, more cool-headed, and have less dramatic problems in the future.

Go, students. Practice. Bring me back your experience. I will have more wisdom for you in the future.